St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come down. Something is lost and can’t be found. Well, not lost, stolen.

Up until my new iPhone was stolen at the gym this evening, the most exciting events of the day had been: 1) finding a house on post that looked just like Roxy’s home in the Lifetime show Army Wives and 2) selecting a healthy Hawaiian Starbucks snack tray.

What do you think mom? Looks like Roxy Leblanc's duplex, right?

What do you think mom? Looks like Roxy Leblanc’s duplex, right?


Starbucks getting wise about pre-workout snacks! Perfect portion for the afternoon.

So I’m sure you’re curious about the iPhone snatch. What a bizarre operation! So I was on the treadmill doing my thing for about 30 minutes before I decided to switch to the stepper. I don’t have a case for my iPhone so it tends to blend like army camo into it’s surroundings – most of the time it just blends into the abyss that is my purse. Tonight it blended into the water holder on the treadmill. When I switched machines, I forgot to grab it (classic error). I realized it was missing 20 minutes later but didn’t panic because I knew exactly where I left it. I’m generally very trusting, and since it was an Army installation gym, I wasn’t worried about it being gone. Until it was.

Daniel and I immediately turned into life-size tracking devices, searching all of the nearby machines and body scanning every gym patron that happened to get in our line of sight … as if someone would just admit they’d taken it.

Who on earth has the guts to steal an iPhone like that? Thanks to security camera’s it didn’t take us long to figure out who does. I can’t believe how dumb people can be. It was hard to miss the dude snatching the phone since he was dressed in all red. Unfortunately, we also watched him leave the facility. I was almost defeated because it was already 18 minutes after the timestamp showed him walking out. There was no way he was still hanging around.

People at the gym must think I’m crazy (so much for getting a job there). Even though it was basically a lost cause, I stood by the exit asking every guy on their way out if they had seen my phone or someone take it. After interrogating about 10 grown men, a group of teenage boys walked out the locker room. Ah ha! They appeared to be about the same age as the guy we saw on film. They must have looked suspicious because and Daniel figured they were the klepto’s friends. He gently put the fear of God in them by asking if they knew anything about the missing item in a “I know you know who did it” sort of way. Must’ve inspired them to immediately inform their buddy that we’d seen him on film. I don’t think it was a coincidence that minutes later we walked to the parking lot and were greeted by a young man in all red asking if we had “lost a phone.” Lost a phone my …

Grateful to have my phone back, we put on our WWJD hats and simply said “thanks,” got in the car, and drove home. Not sure that Jesus would then go and blog about it, but maybe he’d approve since I know that my guardian angle, St. Anthony (the Patron Saint of lost articles) was involved in the iPhone rescue mission. I know this because on the way out to the parking lot I kept repeating, “St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come down. Something’s lost and can’t be found.” It sounds ridiculous, but it works … EVERY time. Trust me, I’ve had plenty of experience with lost articles in my years. St. Anthony and I are pretty much BFFs.

To make the weird event even more bizarre, check this out. It wasn’t until I was uploaded the pictures from my phone to the computer tonight that I noticed this photo.

inside of perp's windshield  - hilarious

inside of perp’s windshield – hilarious

I wonder how long the punk sat in his car contemplating whether to return the stolen property? Long enough to snap this photo! This has got to be one of the worlds dumbest criminal moves. I mean, I could spot that thingamajig hanging from his rearview mirror anywhere.

Do you believe in Guardian Angels?

One thought on “kleptomania

  1. WOW – what an interesting, exhausting day! Christmas is right around the corner, who wouldn’t want a stolen iPhone 5. So glad, St. Anthony intervened and you and Daniel’s detective work:-). Love the base house, are you all considering living on base? It does look like Roxy’s house! Love you guys!

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